WHAT IS COPING?

Coping means trying to reduce the consequences of stress, which are often unpleasant. There are several different ways in which coping is applied.

The different styles of coping can be aimed at solving the problem and thus eliminating the stressor, or at decreasing the negative consequences stress sometimes has. No one enjoys feeling angry or tense for a long period of time. When the problem is not directly solvable, one will try not to feel stressed or angry in another manner. People will try to reduce the negative feeling, one way or another.

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Emotionfocused coping is aimed at reducing the emotional consequenses of stress. People can do this for instance by trying to numb themselves through taking substances. In movies, men often go to a bar to drink when they're having a fight with their spouse. They don't want to feel the negative emotions or the problem for a while. Of course it doesn't solve anything, and they will probably feel worse in the morning. Other examples of emotionfocused coping are watching TV or sports. In this particular type of coping, it distracts you from the problem.

People who use emotionfocused coping also try to change their view of the problem or stressor. When a problem is looked upon in a different way, its emotional effect will also change. For instance, when someone uses the sentence "it can always be worse", or "i still have my health" they try to put the stressor in another perspective and are then changing its consequences. The feeling you have is changed because of the thoughts you have are changed.

Burying your head in the sand sometimes works very well. If a problem is just too big or a solution is too far away then it can work as an emotionfocused coping and reduce unpleasant emotions. Emotionfocused coping works, but not for long. When your head is above sand again, the problem is still there.

Problemfocused coping is aimed at the problem: people who use problemfocused coping try to lower the demands of the surroundings or enhance their resources, thus making the stressor weaker.

Often the two copingstyles are used simultaneously. Whilst working on the solution to a problem, people often try to decrease emotional burden.

Not everybody uses the proper coping style with a right problem. Sometimes it is just more comfortable for people to just not think of a problem; they will want to bury their head in the sand, but it stays down there too long. It may also be that some styles are just not known to a person. If you never learned a specific style, you won't be able to apply it. But, you can always learn. Copingstyles kan change during a lifetime. Once you've succesfully applied a style for the first time, you can from then on use it.