Sources of stress: the person and the family.

An major source of stress within a person is conflict based on thoughts.

Often people are faced with a choice. Having a choice or having options is not a bad thing at all, but it can also provide stress. Sometimes the choice is easily made. Let's say you can choose between two options, something you like and something you don't want. Something you want you'll approach, and something you don't want you'll want to avoid. In this situation, you'll be pulled towards the approach option and you'll turn away from the avoid option. This choice is easy. No fuss, no conflict.

However, it's not always that easy. In 1959, Miller described three conflict situations based on choice, that people can have.

The first conflict arises from a choice with two options that you both approach: the approach-approach conflict. The choice between two things you both want: for instance a healthier life and that one cigarette.

The second situation occurs when you want to avoid both options: the avoidance-avoidance conflict. Example: you don't want to go to your in laws, on the other hand you want to avoid having a quarrel with your spouse. In this situation people often try to postpone making a decision. By the time there's no escaping anymore, when a choice has to be made, people ask another person to make the choice for them so they still don't have to choose. Sometimes you just can't.

A third conflict occurs when both options have a nice, approach side and an unpleasant, avoidance side to them. For instance; you can get that extra raise you've been waiting for, but you're going to have to work every other saturday. Or don't get the raise, and keep the free weekends. This is called the approach-avoidance conflict.

Just like you can read at the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, health, the presence or absence of (new) family members play an important part in having stress. In the first ten items alone, six are family member related. Family members also play an important part in coping with stress, and in social support.